


Stuck in the Middle with You

by yodasyoyo



Series: Tumblr fics [4]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Crack, Fluff, Games, Getting Together, M/M, Snark, Tattoos, Trapped In Elevator, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-30 00:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5143790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yodasyoyo/pseuds/yodasyoyo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek and Stiles go Christmas shopping and get trapped in an elevator.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	Stuck in the Middle with You

**Author's Note:**

> What even is this? I don't know. I just don't know anymore.
> 
> Edited because I kept calling the Elevator a Lift. It's a British thing. Sorry folks. *slaps wrist*

There's a clang and a sound like gears grinding together and everything shudders to a stop. The light flickers briefly, flirting with the idea of going out.

“No. No. No nonononono. NO!” Stiles moans.

It's no good, the elevator is at a stand still.

Derek huffs, “What did you do Stiles?”

“Me?” Stiles replies in outrage “Me? I pressed the goddamn button. That's all. I mean! This is an elevator. There are buttons. We are supposed to press the buttons to move between the floors. Is there anything about this concept that you're struggling to understand? If we get in the elevator and don't press the button then we don't go anywhere. Well, technically I suppose we might eventually go somewhere if somebody calls the elevator from a different floor, but anyway- that's not the point. We are _supposed_ to press the buttons Derek.”

“Obviously,” Derek grinds out, “but perhaps not all the buttons at once.”

Stiles blushes, “I fell.”

“You're always falling.” Derek stalks forward and fiddles with a little compartment on the control panel, opening it to reveal the emergency telephone.

Stiles crosses his arms defensively. “I don't always fall.” he mutters, “there was that thing with the dragon the other week. I didn't fall at all then, well, not until you grabbed me and pushed me over. You were the one falling then.” he points an accusing finger.

“That wasn't falling.” Derek responds irritably, “That was ducking for cover.”

“Whatever. I would have been fine. It wasn't a very _big_ dragon. Definitely more of a Common Welsh Green than a Hungarian Horntail.”

Derek fixes him with a withering glare, “It was still a dragon Stiles.” he points out, picking up the phone to call for help.

“Hello, Maintenance, how may I help you?” A tinny voice comes through.

“We're stuck in the elevator.” Derek says, helpfully.

“Ah, which one sir, there are several in the building.”

Stiles leans over Derek's shoulder trying to get close to the receiver. “The one as you come in, just by the entrance.” he calls. Derek flinches and steps a little further away.

“Okay. We'll have someone come over in a minute to take a look. Just stay calm, we'll be with you in a minute.” Then they're gone. Derek jams the receiver back viciously.

Stiles sighs loudly. “Great, I'm stuck in a confined space with a moody Alpha Werewolf." Life is just fabulous. God knows how long it's going to take for them to fix the elevator. They could be here for a while. Unless...

"Hey, you remember that time you punched through the vault wall to get Cora and Boyd? I bet you could use your claws and just y'know, SNIKT. Like a can opener.” he says brightly, gesturing at the elevator walls.

Derek releases another long suffering sigh, “For the last time, I'm not Wolverine Stiles,” he says, “besides, they're coming to get us out, better all round if there aren't claw marks everywhere. Don't you think?”

Stiles rolls his eyes, “There wouldn't be claw marks everywhere.” he points out. “Just a few, specific, useful claw marks. Then you could climb out the top and shimmy up the cable, like in an action movie.”

Derek glowers, “And what will you be doing while I'm destroying private property?”

“I figured I'd just hang on for the ride.” Stiles says honestly. “I mean I might be able to climb the cable, but you definitely can, and you could carry me no problem.”

Derek stares at him in disbelief. “You want me to claw open the elevator like it's a can of beans and give you a piggy back up the cable?”

“Yes!” Stiles says with growing enthusiasm. “Absolutely. You know it's a great plan, because even when you're trying to be all grumpy and sarcastic about it, it still sounds awesome. Go on. Let's do it!”

Derek regrets every decision in his life that has brought him to this point.“We're in a mall.” he points out, “We're Christmas shopping. This isn't a life and death situation. They'll probably have the elevator moving in five minutes.”

“Ugh, you're no fun.” Stiles says, “I'm regretting volunteering to help now. I should have let you go Christmas shopping alone. Besides, say what you want, but those elves by the Santa's grotto, they looked suspicious. I was getting some bad vibes off them. Seriously.”

“They were just people,” Derek says, “People dressed as elves. That's all.”

Stiles' eyes narrow, “They were too happy.” he says, “nobody dressed in green felt and stripy tights with plastic stick on ears should look that happy.”

“They're supposed to smile Stiles, it's their job.”

“I didn't say they couldn't smile.” Stiles rebutted, “but only with their mouths. They were smizing Derek. Actually smizing. That is an unacceptable level of happiness for people who are being paid minimum wage to deal with pushy parents and spoiled, irritable children who are high on sugar.”

Derek huffs dramatically, “Fine. As soon as we're out of the elevator we'll investigate the 'Case of the Overly Happy Christmas Elves' Stiles. Just for you.”

“Really?” Stiles says in surprise. “You're gonna do that?”

Derek looks at him like he's the stupidest person in the elevator, “No Stiles. Of course not.”

A sharp ringing noise interrupts them and Stiles reaches for the phone.

“Hey there.” Says the voice on the other end, “We've had a look and we think it's going to take about half an hour to get you out.”

“Half an hour?” Stiles squawks.

“Sorry.” the voice says in a tone that suggests they're probably not. The line goes dead.

“Oh God,” Stiles moans, “Half an hour. Half an hour. Half an hour. I do not need to pee. I do not need to pee. I do not need to pee.”

“Stiles!” Derek barks in frustration, he really doesn't need this.

Stiles looks at him glumly, “Derek, I think I need to pee.”

Derek glares, “Ha ha!” Stiles thinks he's funny, but he's not. Much.

“No Derek, I'm serious, I had that large coffee earlier and then a pumpkin spice latte before that. Remember?”

Derek pales. “You are _not_ peeing in here.” he says, “You'll just have to hold on to it.”

Stiles shifts restlessly from foot to foot. “I don't know if I can. Oh God. Deerrrreeekk.” he moans in a low voice, “You have to help me. Pleeeeaasssse Derek. I need to go and it's _worse_ now I know that I can't. Please Derek, please... I _need_ you.” Stiles looks at him pleadingly, "Come on man... what about using that big ol' fist to help me out huh?" he looks flushed and hopeful.

Derek's eyes widen and he blushes slightly. “Wha-? Y-you'll just have to uh- wait until we get out.” he says, not quiet meeting Stiles' eyes.

“Well then you have to distract me.” Stiles says. “Take my mind off it some how.”

Derek looks resolutely away, “H-how do you suggest I do that?” he asks.

“I don't know,” Stiles says, hopping from foot to foot. “Just- we could play a game or something.”

“A game?” Derek asks. “What sort of game?”

“I don't know.” Stiles moans, “something not pee related though, maybe 'Two Truths and a Lie.'”

Derek looks at him blankly.

Stiles sighs, “Fine, sorry, I forgot about your complete lack of social skills. Basically when it's your turn you have to tell me three facts about yourself, two of them have to be true, and one of them has to be a lie and I have to guess which one is the lie.”

Derek looks pained.

“Or you could claw open the top of the elevator like I suggested and I could climb out and pee into the elevator shaft.” Stiles says hopefully. “Nobody would mind, it's not like anyone ever uses the shaft.”

Derek glares angrily at him, he seems to be weighing up his options. He sighs, “I had a pet dog called Rex as a child.” he begins, “My middle name is James and I've never been stuck in a elevator before.”

Stiles looks at him in disbelief, “Seriously? Boring. Those are the most boring facts ever.” Derek's mouth tightens into a little moue of disapproval, and Stiles continues swiftly, “The dog thing. I don't believe you owned a dog.”

Derek huffs but concedes the victory with a nod. “Let's see you do better.” he says.

Stiles grins, “When I was nine I once broke my leg in a freak accident involving a pineapple, my first kiss was with Scott when we were eleven and,” he thinks for a second, “I once jerked off so many times in one day that I sprained my wrist!”

Derek stares at him thoughtfully, then shakes his head. “The thing is, they're all entirely too plausible,” he sighs, “but okay I'll go with the jerking off.” he curses himself for blushing as he says it, because thinking about Stiles jerking off is not an issue for him. It's not.

“Uh, no, that actually did happen.” Stiles admits, “It was during my Buffy phase.”

“Buffy phase?” Derek mouths.

Stiles grins lasciviously, “Yeah, well not just Buffy obviously, Spike, Angel, Faith, Willow. It was all good really. All so, sooo good.”

Derek shakes his head. “Fine the Scott thing then. That's a lie.”

“Nope, also true.” Stiles admits airily, “I was worried, I didn't think Lydia would ever like me because I wasn't experienced enough and Scott volunteered to take one for the team. Wow, you are really bad at this, aren't you? Or I'm really good. Either way, sucks to be you right now.”

Derek looks at him inscrutably. “Perhaps you should worry less about my skills at this stupid game, and more about the fact that I thought the most plausible answer was that you broke your leg in a freak accident with a pineapple.” he snipes.

Stiles pouts, “Hey! You wound me Derek.” he grins, “besides, you've known me long enough to know that while I am _occasionally_ a little klutzy, I'm always horny, and back in the day I was obsessed by Lydia. I practically gave you that on a plate. Freak pineapple accident? I mean seriously, how would that even work?”

Derek shakes his head, refusing to look at Stiles. The thing is, Stiles does seem to be perpetually horny. At least, he always smells aroused whenever Derek's around. “People who are a _little_ klutzy don't manage to trip over nothing and jam all the elevator buttons.” he maintains.

Stiles scowls. “You're just angry because I clearly know you better than you know me.” he says hotly.

“Really?” Derek snaps, “fine. If that's what you think, let's play another round.”

Stiles eyes glitter dangerously, “Glad to.” he bites out. “Off you go.”

Derek narrows his eyes, his competitive instincts fully aroused. He wants to win, but Stiles is good at reading people. So he's going to have to find some way to tip the scales in his favor. He runs a hand through his hair and his t-shirt rides up. He doesn't miss the way Stiles' eyes dart down to check out the thin strip of exposed skin, or the faint blush that creeps over his cheeks. The scent of arousal blooms in the air around them. Huh.

“I have a tattoo” he begins slowly, “I once slept with a succubus, and I prefer to bottom.”

Stiles looks at him open-mouthed, his jaw hanging slackly, and his pupils blown. He smells horny now, more so than usual. Derek shifts uncomfortably and tries to think about knitting or puppies or anything except the thick smell of lust and attraction which is currently permeating the elevator.

“Stiles?” Derek says after a second, “Are you going to answer?”

Stiles shakes himself, blushing crimson even as his eyes narrow. “Well, I _know_ you've got a tattoo.” he begins confidently, “Which means it's between the other two. I think...” he pauses thoughtfully, “I know you have terrible taste in women, but I've never seen you express an interest in men so I'm going to say that the last one is a lie. You don't like to uh... bottom.” his cheeks are scarlet now, but he's glaring at Derek defiantly like he's challenging him to mention it.

Derek grins wolfishly. “Wrong.”

Stiles rolls his eyes his cheeks getting redder, “So you haven't slept with a succubus, fine. I suppose even your taste in partners can't be that bad.”

Derek's grin widens even further. “Oh I've slept with a succubus,” he admits, “we had great fun.”

Stiles jaw drops, “But the triskele? That thing is- wait is that like a fake? Do you get someone to draw it on with a magic marker every morning?”

Derek snorts with laughter, “Yes Stiles. Peter does it for me. He finds it very therapeutic.”

“Really?” Stiles says disbelievingly.

“No! I said I have _a_ tattoo but I have more then one.” Derek says easily.

“Uh. No! No you don't.” Stiles says.

“Uh. Yeah, I do.”

“Where? What? I would have seen it. I don't believe you. Show me.”

“You wouldn't have seen it, it's kind of in an intimate location.” Derek admits and Stiles opens his mouth to protest, “I can show it to you though. If you want.”

Stiles closes his mouth again and looks wary. “You're trying to make me uncomfortable so that you can win aren't you? Well I'm calling your bluff buddy. I wanna see it, otherwise I'm going to have to say you cheated.”

Derek reaches for his belt and starts to undo it.

Stiles puts his hand out. “Wha-? What are you doing?”

“Showing you my other tattoo.” Derek says, loosening the belt and the pulling down the zipper on his pants. He pauses to look at Stiles.

Stiles swallows audibly, shutting his eyes. He opens them again a pained but determined expression on his face, and nods sharply.

Derek peels down his jeans, revealing his boxer briefs. Stiles shudders.

“The tattoo is here.” Derek says, parting his legs and hitching his briefs up ever so slightly to reveal the small marking on his inner thigh.

There's a sharp intake of breath and then Stiles comes barreling over. “Oh. My. God.” he exclaims in disbelief, “Is that- is that Eeyore?”

Derek smirks.

“Oh my God. OH. MY. GOD. Look at you, the mighty Alpha with the Eeyore tattoo,” he lets out a short staccato burst of laughter and grins brightly. “I concede victory, oh Alpha mine. There is nothing I can bring to the table that is going to beat that. Look at it,” he bends to inspect it more closely, close enough that Derek can feel his breath puff against the skin of his thigh. It's intimate and he can't help the shiver that passes through him.

Stiles stops, suspended as he realizes what just happened. He looks up slowly, his gaze heated, and Derek feels exposed suddenly, standing in the elevator with jeans round his knees. Vulnerable.

“So,” Stiles says carefully licking his lips. “If the tattoo was a lie that means you uh... like to bottom huh?” Derek nods slowly. Stiles straightens, eyes wide and searching. “That's interesting,” he says slowly, “because I quite like to top.”

Derek exhales a shuddering sigh as Stiles moves closer, leaning in until his breath a whisper against Derek's cheek. 

"You want to-?" Stiles looks nervous but determined. Like he's half expecting Derek to tell him to back away. 

Derek swallows but manages a shaky smile, "Uh-yeah. Yeah, I really do."

 Stiles' answering smile is blinding as he closes the gap between them.

Stiles kisses like he does everything else, with an intensity and enthusiasm that's almost overwhelming and before long he has Derek backed up against the elevator wall, and things are getting a little out of hand.

They're grinding up against each other like horny teenagers, and about two minutes away from a messy ending, when the sharp noise of the telephone cuts through the silence and they spring apart guiltily.

Derek reaches for it picking it up, panting slightly. "Hello?" he says.

“Uh. Hey guys,” says the voice on the other end of the line, “We're about ten minutes from having the problem fixed, but uh-” there's a pause, “We just thought you would want to know that there's a camera in there.”

Stiles looks at him eyes wide with amusement. Derek lets his head thud forward onto Stiles shoulder. “Okay,” he mumbles, “thanks for that.”

Stiles snorts with laughter, burying his face in the crook of Derek's neck as Derek struggles to pull up his jeans.

“Oh God.” he says, “this is the best day ever.”

Derek tries to muster some annoyance, but he really can't because today has been pretty fucking good actually. Once his pants are back up he settles for wrapping Stiles up in his arms and holding him, until the elevator starts working again.

They spend the rest of the day holding hands while they do their Christmas shopping and it's all pretty perfect actually.

Right up until the point where Santa's elves capture them, and try to ritually sacrifice them to appease an ancient demon.

The pack manage to rescue them though, so it works out okay in the end.

Stiles is a little bit obnoxious about having called that one, he bemoans loudly that nobody ever trusts his instincts, until Derek is forced to find new and inventive ways to shut him up.

It turns out Stiles doesn't mind.

 

o0o

 

**If you've enjoyed this then you may like my other Sterek[fic](http://archiveofourown.org/users/yodasyoyo/pseuds/yodasyoyo/works).**

**Also, I'm on[tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/yodas-yo-yo), where I would love you to come and say hi!**

**Always grateful for Kudos and Comments if you are so inclined :D**

**(Also, if you must know, the Eeyore tattoo is the result of a drunken night out and a dare from Laura.)**


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